Welcome to everyone who joined The ADHD Circuit® in the last week! If you are just joining this series, you will probably want to start with the first article, available here.
I would also like to send a special call-out to my cousins! I am the youngest of 32 “first” cousins; Minta, a cousin by marriage, says that we all have the same eyes. Apparently, the genetics do not stop there because many of us -and our children- have ADHD. There was a lot of buzz about ADHD (and my party lights) over Thanksgiving weekend. My mom encouraged them to join The ADHD Circuit®. Having my cousins subscribe will certainly keep me honest. They’ll likely keep me humble, too! 
Last week, I described a lot of technical information about the electrical patterns in the brain and presented a model for understanding ADHD, which is a simple string of lights. Each bulb on the string represents a specific and isolated task or command within the brain. The wires connecting the lights represent the electrical signals that travel to the various parts of the brain, telling the brain to execute each task.
An ADHD brain does not have an adequate supply of brain chemicals to efficiently deliver these electrical connections. With ADHD, some neurons connect as you expect, others do not. There are no guarantees that the “lights will stay on,” nor are there any warnings when the circuit will be cut.
I first “experienced” this circuit on a conscious level one evening over the summer. I was just beginning to recognize ADHD in myself and consulted with a doctor for the first time. We had a lengthy discussion and she asked several questions. One of them was, “Do you ever find yourself making several attempts to complete ‘simple’ tasks?”
“Welllll,” I pondered… “Yeah. When my kids are thirsty, they have to ask me three times before I can get my act together and get them a drink. I always seem to get distracted. But, I always thought it was because of fatigue.”
The doctor gave a knowing smile as she quietly took notes. This was the very beginning of the diagnostic process, but I was slowly becoming more and more aware of the affects ADHD has on my life.
A couple hours later, I had returned home and was in the kitchen when my son, Mark, asked for a cup of juice. I said he would have to drink milk first, and then have juice. He agreed without a fuss.
The conversation with my doctor from earlier in the day immediately ran through my head. This time, I was determined to get his drink without any delays!
I looked at the fridge and thought, “I can do this!” All of the muscles in my head, neck, shoulders, and upper back tightened as I braced myself and turned towards the cupboard to get a cup. Within a couple of minutes, I was at the counter, milk and cup in hand, and had successfully poured the drink. As Mark walked away, I took a deep breath and thought, “I did it!”
At that moment, I felt the same sense of accomplishment as when I finished my first cross country race (3.1 miles) in high school. I was just as exhausted, too.
I had to remind myself that this was ONLY MILK!
A few minutes later, Mark came back with his empty cup. “Okay, Mom. I’m ready for my milk.”
At that moment, I was washing dishes and my hands were soaked. I asked Mark to set the cup on the counter next to me and promised to get him juice. I was determined to get this drink right away, too. So, I stared at that cup while I set the dish down and rinsed my hands. The whole time, I repeated to myself, “Don’t lose this! Don’t let it go! Don’t let go of this!”
The dishtowels were hanging directly behind me, so I turned to dry my hands. Five or ten minutes later, I sat down to take a break and glanced over at the sink. There was Mark’s empty cup…exactly where he had left it! In the split second that I turned to dry my hands, I had completely lost track of it.
Despite all of my good intentions and sheer will to NOT lose track of Mark’s cup, I did! There was absolutely no warning. The circuit was just cut! Equally frustrating is that my brain did not recognize that the signal was severed. It wasn’t until several minutes later that the sight of the cup triggered my memory.
This experience was eye-opening! You would think that getting my child something to drink would be a completely simple task. Let’s face it, I’ve done far more “complicated things” in my life. In fact, at age 7, Mark is fully capable of getting his own drink (he asks me simply because of height restrictions) and my 2.5 year-old is getting pretty close to pouring her own drinks, as well. Why then, is it so difficult for me?!
The ADHD Circuit®
The answer to this question seems baffling…until you understand The ADHD Circuit®. When we think about getting a cup of milk, we perceive it to be ONE simple task. The truth is, there are many steps to the process. If we map it out on the ADHD Circuit®, it would look like this:
The brain quickly sequences these steps in order, then sends command signals to other parts of the brain to execute each one. The wires between each step (light bulb) represent a simplified model of neuron connections in the brain. In the process of getting a cup of milk, there are at least 23 different opportunities for the brain to miss a connection and drop a signal. It is no different than if you cut a wire between the lights; the lights INSTANTLY go out.
Sometimes the signal is lost for a fraction of a moment. Other times, the signal is lost permanently. The duration depends on several factors such as: the distractions around you at the time the signal is lost, how necessary it is for you to finish the task at that time, and your emotional engagement in what you were doing.
If the brain IS able to reestablish the signal, it will not be able to pick up exactly where it left off because the connection was lost so abruptly. With every disruption in a neuron connection, the brain has to go back to the beginning of the task and quickly cycle through every individual step to find the next starting point.
Do you remember the strands of Christmas lights where ALL of the lights would go out when ONE bulb burned out? To fix the problem, you had to go through and test each individual bulb to find the one that needed to be replaced. The process in your brain goes a bit faster, but it is the same concept. When your brain loses a connection, then cycles through a process to find the right place to reconnect, it takes time and energy! This constant “recycling” of the microsteps involved explains why people with ADHD often take more time to complete a task than someone without ADHD, and are much more exhausted doing it.
CONCLUSION
My experience that evening was a defining one! I learned several things about myself and ADHD:
1. There must be a connection between ADHD and my history of rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. I will never be able to prove this conclusively, but “tension” has been one of my most significant symptoms over the years. When I made the mental commitment to get that cup of milk, I felt all of my muscles in my upper body tense up as if I was bracing for a battle. When I begin a new task, I will often psyche myself up by thinking, “Okay, buckle down and get this done!” Immediately, my body will tense up as if am attempting to “pull myself together.”
I do not know of much research behind this topic, but it makes perfect sense that our bodies would have physical reactions to the mental stress created by ADHD. This would be an interesting topic for further research.
2. I discovered why I am so tired all of the time! I am chronically exhausted. I now understand why simple things like cooking, grocery shopping, and getting myself (let alone the kids) out of the house is totally exhausting!
3. Finally, I learned that no amount of willpower can fully overcome ADHD. I am sure my strong-willed personality has helped me “work around” ADHD over the years, but ADHD goes well beyond willpower! I was so utterly determined and “focused” to get Mark’s second drink; when I lost track of it in spite of my efforts, I realized exactly what it “feels” like to lose a neuron connection. The thing is, it didn’t actually feel like anything! There was no signal to tell me I lost the connection. No physical sensation. It simply vanished.
Snip! The power went out.
-Susan Kruger
(Google+)
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I’m almost afraid to admit this but I am relating to this.
Amelia! Welcome to the “dark” side.
Of course, I’m just kidding. In reality, the new-found awareness will be very enlightening!
I am “connecting” with what you have to say about the circuit. I work with students who fight these battles every day. What strategies are you using to combat these signal losses?
Annie, I’ll be addressing this question in future articles. SO much to say about this…its an excellent question!
Hi Susan, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I was struck by the similarities with your story. Is your first article available (about high functioning moms with kids with ADHD)?
My child is just being diagnosed and I do think in retrospect that his parents probably have a mild case also. One thing is that I want him to see it as a challenge, not a sentence. What do you think of techniques to strengthen memory and focus, such as mindfulness training and computer based training. I have found a few reports and studies out there and, given the plasticity of the human brain, it seems worth at least giving these techniques a shot instead of just giving up. When I first had the thought that I might also have ADHD, I wanted to use it as an excuse to stop striving and kind of just say, well I can’t do that cause I have ADHD. However, before I thought I had it I just worked really hard and was very successful.
Fine balance between getting folks the support and compassion they need but not letting them think they have to settle. There are amazing people in the world who have not let “disabilities” stop them…Also I still wonder whether we just dont appreciate the gifts that some folks with ADHD might have and, if they were in a different setting, might these be adaptive. Like the “hyperfocus” in ADHD is actually a huge boon in a world-changing visionary or a research scientist. I wonder how many university professors are gifted, high functioning folks with ADHD?
Thanks again for sharing. Your story is compelling
Rita, I will be addressing many of your questions in future articles…each answer could be a whole book! Also, I should address in greater detail your comments about the “balance” between getting support and not letting people think they have to settle. That has been my clear goal for my son all along and I certainly hold myself to high standards, too.
Thanks for the input! – Susan
Thank you for being so candid/honest. I am looking at others so differently. My patience is growning as well as my understanding of thisissue.
Glad to hear this, Maggie! I know this analogy has helped me have a LOT more patience for my son…and myself.
I receiently discovered my adult ADD and the conversations with my parents about my childhood make sense now. The explinations you cite validate my life! Love it and Thank You!
Dana, That makes me smile! Glad to know you find my bizarre observations enlightening!
When you use the term ADHD are you also referring to ADD as well?
Yes, ADD has been “absorbed” into the term ADHD. So, I am using them synonymously.
Dear Susan, thank you so much for your articles.
My husband and I and one of our 3 children all have ADHD. We were just wondering – what is it like to be “normal”? What does a non-ADHD brain do with a distraction while it’s in the process of getting milk? Some sort of a capacitor? How does it know which stimulus to deal with, and when, and which to ignore, without getting overwhelmed?
Olga, good questions. This will likely be the topic of a future article, as well. Essentially, chemicals play a role in the brain’s ability to filter out distractions, so a non-ADHD brain will be more efficient with this filtering process. The unconscious mind processes many, many times the amount of stimuli, at any given moment, than the conscious mind is able to process. Therefore, our conscious mind is “programmed” to look for stimuli to support whatever the conscious mind’s objective is at the moment; it has a bit of “tunnel vision” as it works to complete a task. (Have you ever had an experience where you have seen a movie a few times, but perhaps didn’t catch a line, hint, or background scene until someone else pointed it out to you on the 4th-5th viewing? The reason we miss things like that is because our conscious mind isn’t looking for those cues.) For people with ADHD, that “tunnel” is much wider than it would be for others because they are not as efficient at filtering that stimuli. I hope this makes sense. I am pretty certain that your questions can be answered with the ADHD Circuit model, but I need to do a little more research on this to be sure I have all of my facts straight.
Thank you Susan, that makes a lot of sense! (Makes me feel better too.
)
In your example with the steps to pour milk, there are a pile of steps pertaining to tidying – like closing cupboard doors and putting milk in the fridge. It seems that those lightbulbs are either entirely missing from our circuits, or all strung at the end so we never get there. (And yes, I do try!) Will you be covering some sort of a technique to help “rewire” your brain?
Thank you!
In this particular instance, I had to close cupboard doors and fridge doors or else I’d be walking into them. But, in general, “tidying” is commonly skipped in a lot of our circuits. I don’t know how much I can say about rewiring the brain, but I will be covering information on shortening the steps in our circuits to make tidying easier.
i love to read your ‘stuff.’ It’s always so enlightening. Have you talked about meds for ADHD already? I’m curious to know your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself to help others.
Kimi
Kimi, Thanks for your feedback! To answer your question, I do plan to address this topic in a future article. Stay tuned…
I find that I am much more likely to “forget” what I am doing if I am trying to accomplish a lot of tasks in a short amount of time. My brain just has too much to cope with. When things are relaxed, it ‘s a lot easier to remember what I am doing. I wonder if ADHD kids/people are basically feeling overwhelmed by life.
Susan,
I have read your first two aritcles in hopes of getting more information to help my daughter. We have not had her seen by a doctor to have her diagnosed with ADHD, but many of the things you’ve talked about also describe her. She is 6 years old, and having great difficulty comtrolling herself in school this year. I look forward to your future articles for ideas to help daughter.